I am in a strange place right now. It turned out I wasn't pregnant, but now I'm in that odd two week window again, so I could be. Even if I'm not, I hope to be soon, so my mind is full of thoughts of new life.
Ian's turning one in two two days. What an amazing year it has been! He is so bubbly and full of life. He brings so much joy to our family.
But in the midst of these fresh young lives, I am surrounded by the dying. Obviously we're all dying to some degree, but there are three important people in my life who are face to face with their own mortality.
Last weekend we visited Eric's paternal grandmother, who's days are winding down. She's 87 (I think) and has lived a long life. Even so, it's hard to say good-bye.
Tonight, Eric got a call from his dad letting him know that my mother-in-law, who has been nearing the end of her 5-year battle with cancer, is having trouble breathing. The doctor told him she won't live more than a couple days. It seems like such a waste for a woman not yet 60.
But my heart breaks most for one even younger. My friend Heather, only 31, is also fighting a losing battle against cancer. She's trying to enjoy what time she has left with her precious young children and the rest of her family. Heather will forever live in my memory as an 11-year old girl flying across the stage in our ballet recital. We weren't old enough to begin pointe work before the recital, so she and I took turns leaping across the stage during the instrumental breaks of the dance for the pointe class.
It makes no sense to me. I want to celebrate life, but I feel like death is knocking at my door.
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