ahhh... protein

So I'm doing okay on building new eating habits. I haven't cut sugar out, but I'm taking baby steps. Here's the progress I see:

1. I've stuck to my commitment to stop buying refined sugar products.
2. I'm not denying myself sugar, but I'm stopping to ask myself if I really want it, and I'm surprised at how often I can say no. If I do want it, I go ahead and don't feel guilty.
3. My main focus has been increasing my protein intake, particularly at breakfast. It reminds me of when I was pregnant with Ian and obsessively tracked what I was eating to make sure I had enough protein every day. I bought some whey protein powder today to start using in the morning because that's been the hardest part.

What's interesting is that as I've been reading and researching on the Internet, I've realized that changing my diet could also be beneficial for my ulcerative colitis. I've had a hard time getting it under control lately, but I really don't want to go back on Prednisone. I'm looking forward to seeing how I start feeling as I form new eating habits.

gathering and learning

So it's been a few days, and there's not much to report. I'm still working my way through the pantry. I did talk to Eric a little about what I'm thinking as far as my attitude towards sugar, and while he didn't seem to really get it, he didn't dismiss it either. I've read a few articles on the Internet, and today I checked a few books out of the library. Right now I'm reading Little Sugar Addicts by Kathleen DesMaisons. It's more geared toward parents trying to help children who are "sugar sensitive," but I'm learning a lot. Namely, it's confirming what I was thinking about myself, and I'm even seeing how my sugar sensitivity was present even as a kid. I ordered her first book Potatoes, Not Prozac off paperbackswap.com and am looking forward to reading it as well.

Two things stand out in my mind. First, that I have a lot to learn. Second, that this is going to be a long process. I want to be sure to build a good foundation. I know myself too well to think I can just quit. But I am excited to get started, not only for the positive changes I hope to bring about in myself, but also for the way it will affect my kids.

A new quest

Ok, so I haven't been much of a blogger, and that probably isn't about to change, but for some reason I felt inspired to write a little about something that's starting to bug me. Over the last few days, I've come to realize that my eating is getting out of control (again) and it hit me today that I'm a sugar addict. I remember hearing some people talk about sugar addiction a few years ago (when I was trying to overcome my long history of bulimia) and I have to admit, I thought they were somewhat ridiculous. Or at least obsessive.

But it has become obvious to me that I am not really in control of my sugar binges. If it's in the house, I eat it. If it's not in the house, I go out and get it. I have almost zero self-control when the craving hits.

So where do I go from here? I should probably clean out my pantry and throw a lot of stuff away, but I'm too much of a spendthrift for that. But I'm willing to make this Commitment: I will not buy any more refined sugar. Not exactly a huge leap, but at least it's a baby step.

And here's where I run into problem number one: my husband. Eric doesn't seem to have any food issues. He is a creature of habit, one of which is packing little storebought cookies in his lunch. Okay, so maybe I can ask him to take the whole package to work with him. What about his ice cream at night? What? No more ice cream? Well, I should probably stay off it for at least a while. Will he go for this? Well, maybe. He's so supportive of me, and he knows of my past food issues, so maybe he'll be game. I'll have to check with him.

As a final note, this is not about losing weight. No, seriously it's not. Sure, I could stand to lose a decent chunk, but honestly, I'm perfectly comfortable with my body as it is. What I'm not okay with is letting some craving make my decisions for me, especially decisions that are really bad for me physically. God wants us to control our appetites, rather than letting them control us.

Over the last few years, the "fruit of the Spirit" I've been trying to cultivate the most has been patience. Maybe it's time to start praying for some self-control as well.

"But I say, walk by the Spirit and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh." Galatians 5:16 (NASB)